There are losses I embrace, like the loss of child like faith I used to have in all things “official.” Government and its politicians hobbled by greed and lobbyists rushing to hog tie their souls; medical establishment doctors who are a little too cozy with giant pharmaceutical corporations; talking heads in an increasingly corporate-owned media. I don’t buy the fear mongering but I do look for the conspiracy behind it. The more charged definitions aside, the word means: “…any concurrence in action; combination in bringing about a given result.” The recent swine flu scare, for instance. Who or what is behind that? Because, not every doctor won’t hesitate to vaccinate. I have no scientific background. I sniff something and if it smells funny I don’t eat it. Or trust it. A lot of what has come out of American politics—make that global politics—has that funny smell. Which will lead me down other avenues of investigation. Presently I’m focusing on just who will make a financial killing on the vaccines. The most human deaths were occurring in Mexico City, where the virus was thought to originate—one of the most polluted places on the planet. Not much chance of a full recovery when you can’t even breathe the air. And those diminished or cancelled immigration rallies around traditional May Day celebrations? Coincidence?

Just for the heck of it I asked some friends, here and abroad, for their take. “Uncle” Stanley, trumpet player in a Leicester Big Band in the U.K. replied pronto: “I just called the swine fever helpline. What a waste of time, I couldn't understand a word they said. All I got was crackling!!”

Perhaps less guffaw-inducing but no less worthy of consideration was Lemon’s response. He is a Cracker Jack cartoonist in San Francisco, married to the world’s most exoti…er…beautiful woman. “Anything that has people washing their hands more often and covering their mouths when they sneeze is a good thing.”

Bel—a journalist and writer—e-mailed from Barcelona: “I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if this is another big business like avian flu, for Rumsfeld and others.”

From Paris, Big Vickie, who is a labor negotiator, was her usual sardonic self. “A disease with a mixture of human, avian et swine elements. Who dropped the beaker?”

Gail said, sensibly, from Queens, “Better to be safe than sorry!”

The jokes kept coming and Valérie clocked in with a winner. “What does it mean when pigs fly? Swine flew!”

The big-hearted man we call our Fairy Godfather intoned sagely: “Some swine flu viruses are greater than other swine flu viruses. (Thanks to George Orwell.)”

From Suzie Q, who is an environmental activist in Ohio and a great mother: “All we need to do is to take plenty of Vitamin D3 (unless you're in the sun a lot), selenium & zinc, then sleep at least 8 hours a night, stay well hydrated, avoid too much sugar and caffeine and…be happy. Oh, and get rid of all factory farms.”

And finally Kalev—a writer, astrologer, chess player extraordinaire and one of the most intelligent people I know—replied at some length from his condo in Redondo Beach, California.

“Last year, about August or so, I predicted to my friends here that we would face some very trying times, because Saturn was going to go in opposition in tropical Virgo/Pisces (Leo/Aquarius Vedic). The last time that happened was in 1918, when there was a worldwide pandemic of influenza that killed some 30-50 million people as the World War I was about to end and the Russian Revolution and the Russian Civil War was about to begin. During this opposition, the economy quickly fell apart, and there is a call for things new.”

“Then, Saturn went retrograde and Uranus continued happily along. However, this month, Saturn goes direct and in a new few months it will once again go opposition to Uranus, just in time for flu season. So, by September and October, the opposition comes to the fore once again, and then wanes in late November as Saturn goes into Libra. However, Saturn then goes retrograde again and by May and June of 2010, the opposition once again comes to its height.”

“So, that means that right now the flu is not going to be that much of a thing; however, in time for the flu season later, the opposition may make the flu much worse, and perhaps even next year. I think that the worst probably will be last this year. Having said that, that doesn't mean that we are going to have millions dying. Public health is a lot better now. Moreover, the only big problem is whether that swine flu which is just like any other flu mutates or joins with another one of the standard flus that have been around for a while and create a new strain that is very strong.”

“The problem in Mexico City, it should be noted, where it is the worst in Mexico, is that it is one of the most polluted cities anywhere. As such, people who live there have the protective linings of their lungs basically destroyed, and they are much vulnerable to any flu, or, for that matter, any simple cold. I would imagine that if this flu spreads, the most damage will occur in other cities that are just as polluted, e.g., Beijing or Athens.”

He continues with predictions resulting from a Saturn/Uranus opposition, other planetary problems but that things should stabilize in a few years and that “…we should expect things to improve, but they will improve because the new and the novel will replace the old, both for the good and the bad.”

Hear that? It’s the sound of the eyeballs of a million scientists, rolling all at once.

Kalev concludes on plainer note. “Having said all that, the media reaction to this flu is idiotic. It makes you want to go around and inject them all with not only the swine flu, but move them all to Mexico City and put papers masks on their faces. Geez, what nonsense. A flu is a flu. We are not talking about a major new strain of plague here.”

So, it’s important not to lose a sense of humor. And if the government veers toward enforced vaccinations, not to lose the right to choose.

Traveling is a sure fire way to lose things. Our recent trip back to The Mister’s hometown of Leicester proved that. Things were lost, found, lost, found, maybe, and then lost. Only to be found again. The list included: sunglasses, capo, guitar stand, return bus tickets from the airport, a favorite broken-in tee shirt, the charcoal capsules and one sock.

But the ring was found! It was The Mister’s birthday. We were frantically searching for something else, perhaps those bus tickets. I emptied out the butt pack where I keep my passport and travel money. I saw the ring. Right where I had looked possibly a hundred times in Montauk and then, again, back home; right in the pocket where I stash the bags I need for scooping up after dogs I walk. There it was. The Mister and I stared with disbelief. And then he said, “You lost that in Montauk in August. I was conceived in August. And here it is, my birthday in April.”

Things like that happen to me.